Managing the "What-Ifs": A Midwife Q&A
Managing the "What-Ifs": An Expert Q&A with Senior Midwife Lucy and Founder of Hello Little One
Preparing for your baby’s arrival often feels like a mix of excitement and a never-ending to-do list. From finding the best antenatal education to packing your hospital bag with nourishing snacks—like chocolate date truffles for a nourishing boost (yes, they're not just great for pregnancy but great for labour and post, too.)
But beyond the prep, there is the mental and emotional work of navigating the system. To help you feel a wee more prepared for the "real life" side of birth, we sat down with Lucy, a senior midwife and mum of two (soon to be 3!). She is also the founder of Hello Little One — where antenatal education is anything but one-size-fits-all. With years of hands-on experience supporting women and birthing people through pregnancy, birth, and beyond, she combines real-life insight with expert knowledge to create relaxed, personalised classes that actually feel relevant (and even a bit fun). Think less textbook, more “this is what it’s really like" — with plenty of warmth, honesty, and practical tips to help families feel genuinely prepared
Here, she shares her expert insights on advocating for yourself, knowing when to call your midwife, and protecting your peace during pregnancy.
How to Advocate for Yourself: Using the "BRAIN" Acronym in Labour
If a patient feels their concerns are being dismissed, what specific language or 'power phrases' can they use to ensure they are heard and respected by their team, whether it’s a midwife or consultant?
Lucy: It is so important during labour for women and birthing people to feel 'heard', and I often notice that a lot of people's experiences are plagued by feeling dismissed, not taken seriously, or by simply not understanding what is happening and why. There is often a vital role I will discuss with birthing partner(s)- to act as the advocate during labour, birth and the postnatal period, and the easiest way to do this is to utilise the BRAIN acronym.
B: Benefits, what are the potential benefits of this plan/intervention to birthing person and baby?
R: Risks, what are the potential risks associated with this decision/intervention?
A: Alternative, are other options available?
I: Intuition, what is my intuition telling me? How do you feel about what is happening?
N: Nothing, what happens if we don't do anything or wait?
B: Benefits, what are the potential benefits of this plan/intervention to birthing person and baby?
R: Risks, what are the potential risks associated with this decision/intervention?
A: Alternative, are other options available?
I: Intuition, what is my intuition telling me? How do you feel about what is happening?
N: Nothing, what happens if we don't do anything or wait?
This tool is brilliant when used during high-pressure moments to aid decision-making, which can help make informed choices and ensure the birthing person and birthing partners feel involved.
The "Gut Feeling" You Should Never Ignore During Pregnancy
What is the one physical symptom or 'gut feeling' that you wish every person would never hesitate to call their midwife about, regardless of how far along they are?
Lucy: One 'gut feeling' I tell my clients and patients to never ignore is if they think their baby's movements have changed or reduced. It doesn't matter if you are 28 weeks or well past your due date, if it has popped into your head that you haven't felt you baby move when you would usually expect them to, then it is always better to call into your maternity unit straight away. It's not true that baby's movements should decrease in frequency in the lead up to your due date/labour! I never want women and birthing people to feel worried that they are wasting Midwives time if they arrive to the hospital and baby starts moving the instant they arrive, we would always rather check baby out and be on the safe side!
Lucy is a delight! Connect with her on Instagram @hellolittleoneclasses and check out
Overcoming the Fear of Childbirth: Setting Boundaries
Whether it’s the first or third trimester, the 'what-ifs' of labor can feel heavy. What is your go-to advice for someone navigating the fear of giving birth?
Lucy: Fear of childbirth, also called Tocophobia, can be present due to a huge array of reasons, all of which are valid. But something I've noticed over the years is that women are getting a lot of their information from well-meaning friends, family members and from social media (plus occasionally from a random stranger on the tube!). This is great in theory, to share experiences, but mostly people seem to share their own traumatic events or what they found difficult or scary. Or they put so much onus on how things were done 30+ years ago to set a precedent about how things should go in someone else's birth, and therefore creates more fear!
My big tip is practice setting boundaries. Becoming a parent helps with learning to set boundaries, even with those we love, but putting them into place during pregnancy can be really useful. Try catching someone before they launch into a minute-by-minute action replay of their traumatic birth by politely saying "Thank you, but right now I'd rather not hear other people's stories!".
Likewise unfollow or mute people on social media if you are finding content triggering, or it's simply making you more anxious. It's okay to need to protect your peace from all angles at the moment!
Speak to your healthcare professionals, opt into educational antenatal classes, and steer clear of peer-led non-medical advice!
My big tip is practice setting boundaries. Becoming a parent helps with learning to set boundaries, even with those we love, but putting them into place during pregnancy can be really useful. Try catching someone before they launch into a minute-by-minute action replay of their traumatic birth by politely saying "Thank you, but right now I'd rather not hear other people's stories!".
Likewise unfollow or mute people on social media if you are finding content triggering, or it's simply making you more anxious. It's okay to need to protect your peace from all angles at the moment!
Speak to your healthcare professionals, opt into educational antenatal classes, and steer clear of peer-led non-medical advice!
Preparing for the "Fourth Trimester": Understanding Newborn Norms
If you could shift the focus away from 'the birth' for just a moment, what is the one thing you wish expectant parents spent more time preparing for regarding the first few weeks at home?
Lucy: Newborn norms! Even as an experienced midwife, I had no idea what to expect when I took my first daughter home. And after the second was born our world was rocked all over again with a completely different temperament child. YOU are the expert of your child, please remember that. And no child has ever vacated the womb with a plan to stick to any kind of routine or strict plan. Each child is an individual and anyone who sets you up to believe that baby's should do XYZ (like feeding at set times or sleep schedules) is setting you up for potentially a lot of heartache and concern, because 99% of baby's are marching to the beat of their own drum, and the sooner we can accept and feel comfortable with that the easier the transition into parenthood is!
Lucy is a delight! Connect with her on Instagram @hellolittleoneclasses and check out
